Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The Sweet Spot.....
June 27,2012 Just realizing that I have as of yet to speak of some of the most important parts of my life.... my children and where my life is now. I was so blessed to have 2 wonderful sons, they are all grown up now, they are and have been the light of my life since they were conceived. I am a most proud parent ! My sons amaze me routinely. Although their father and I didn't stay married, we are still the best of friends and always will be, he is a great person too!.......now after our marriage ended (the second time, yes we married twice) ... I married again to another wonderful man, I loved him dearly and we lasted until he died... that is a sad time and I really am not prepared to explain at this time..................I really didn't think I would ever let myself love again, but the soul is a strange thing and it is willing, so I did.... and my husband "Foggy" nickname.. is great , he is a strong man, hard working and very loving , he loves my children as well and that is very, very important ! So between us we have 5 sons... and 6 grandchildren and 1 daughter in law (my youngest sons wife) life is good, we have our problems ,but they are few and tiny.... health issues.. maybe a few ,,, but we are happy and comfy at this stage in our lives.... oh and we have the sweetest little chihuahuas that make our little family whole :) <3 ...............you know , I should tell you about my siblings , I love them all, even the ones that drive me crazy.....
Friday, June 24, 2011
Turning point? was it Enough?
My mother passed away March 31 2011, and I am not feeling what people think I should. Sorry. I just don't know how to make this right ,either. My mother was born October 18,1929 ,so she was 81 years old and was ill. I think she was suffering and her death put an end to that, for that I am grateful. My sister that she had after abandoning us 5 in Ga. , was with her ,which is only right ,since she had her all to herself ... she should have been there for her, my mother put everything into her and her children and just didn't have enough for her other children i guess. I am not bitter , just stating fact. My contact with her was limited , by her, and my step father... the time i spent with her could be measured simply by saying... if it were measured by grains of sand ,and each grain was a day, it would not even be enough to fill an eighth of a teaspoon. In some kind of a way I do think that I loved her, or at least the thought of what I wished she was. as they say, life goes on , and it does. <3
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
October 14, 2008 full moon
Mother goes to Texas with one of my Daddy's workers? Yes that's right, up until they left together, he was an employee of my fathers. Wow, sure sounds bad reading that. We all have faults, and reasons for staying and reasons for leaving, I know she had hers. None of this was simple, and most of our questions have never and will never be answered. This is life...........
THE ABANDONMENT,
That was another story in it's own...Sometime in October of 1964 my siblings and I ,went to the
Drive-IN-Movie with our Mother, Daddy didn't go. Anyway that's when it happened..... my oldest sister was 15 and I was the youngest at 4,, Mother left us in the car saying she was going to the bathroom, never to return... a while later, my father came and got us... That was that, that's how she made her big escape from that 17 year marriage and 5 kids... and that sounds even worse when I read it.. but THAT'S LIFE TOO.
It is part of my life , but I won't allow it to be my life's story.. I joke sometimes and say she left because she knew that I was going to be a handful, I mean really, the year before she left, I managed to get bitten by a rattlesnake, yes, RATTLESNAKE , and I also managed to get my heel cut of in Bicycle spokes. ALL TRUE!
OH, by the way, 2 weeks after the Movie thing, she did come back long enough to say good bye to us. She also gave my oldest sister a letter of explanation , I have to this day , not been allowed to read!! (pisses me off) What ever.. it makes no difference at this point. done , over, that's Life.......................You know this all sounds so bad, but it really makes not much difference,
just makes me stronger and more understanding of people and mistakes and decisions.
SO, Now, what did my daddy do? Well he married one of the girls he had been dating off and on throughout the last oh, I don't know, probably 5 or 10 years of his marriage. Yes, that is more than likely part of my mothers reason for leaving , and I bet he had reasons for cheating. . We all have our Reasons... I don't know the reasons for either of them, and it really doesn't matter, this is my life that was dealt to me and I choose to get stronger and be happy. THIS IS NOT MY STORY, AT THIS POINT , IT IS THEIR STORY.
NEXT TIME, we can learn more about my step mom, boy did she really walk into a web... at around 24 years old , she gained not only a husband , but 5 children to go with her only child. SURPRISED, MORE THAN LIKELY,,.......................just to let you know, she is at this point in my life , a mom to me.
This is a changed thing, I have found that even though I thought she was like a mom, I was
mistaken, a friend maybe , but not really a mom. She let me know that she only "loves and caress about her son ,my half brother. (added 5-14-2010)
I have ,since the posting of this in Oct.2008, been given a copy of "The letter" from my eldest sister, and I in turn made copies for all of my sibs......
I cried and got mad at her, but after a month or so, understand why she kept it hidden for all the years.... it was written by someone that was confused, and upset... and it really does not explain why she didn't stay a part of her childrens lives... I have always said,, "it's not the mistakes we make in our lives, It's what we do afterwards " , and she didn't do much to make a relationship with any of us.. the opposite was the real truth... sorry Mother. May 14,2010.
THE ABANDONMENT,
That was another story in it's own...Sometime in October of 1964 my siblings and I ,went to the
Drive-IN-Movie with our Mother, Daddy didn't go. Anyway that's when it happened..... my oldest sister was 15 and I was the youngest at 4,, Mother left us in the car saying she was going to the bathroom, never to return... a while later, my father came and got us... That was that, that's how she made her big escape from that 17 year marriage and 5 kids... and that sounds even worse when I read it.. but THAT'S LIFE TOO.
It is part of my life , but I won't allow it to be my life's story.. I joke sometimes and say she left because she knew that I was going to be a handful, I mean really, the year before she left, I managed to get bitten by a rattlesnake, yes, RATTLESNAKE , and I also managed to get my heel cut of in Bicycle spokes. ALL TRUE!
OH, by the way, 2 weeks after the Movie thing, she did come back long enough to say good bye to us. She also gave my oldest sister a letter of explanation , I have to this day , not been allowed to read!! (pisses me off) What ever.. it makes no difference at this point. done , over, that's Life.......................You know this all sounds so bad, but it really makes not much difference,
just makes me stronger and more understanding of people and mistakes and decisions.
SO, Now, what did my daddy do? Well he married one of the girls he had been dating off and on throughout the last oh, I don't know, probably 5 or 10 years of his marriage. Yes, that is more than likely part of my mothers reason for leaving , and I bet he had reasons for cheating. . We all have our Reasons... I don't know the reasons for either of them, and it really doesn't matter, this is my life that was dealt to me and I choose to get stronger and be happy. THIS IS NOT MY STORY, AT THIS POINT , IT IS THEIR STORY.
NEXT TIME, we can learn more about my step mom, boy did she really walk into a web... at around 24 years old , she gained not only a husband , but 5 children to go with her only child. SURPRISED, MORE THAN LIKELY,,.......................just to let you know, she is at this point in my life , a mom to me.
This is a changed thing, I have found that even though I thought she was like a mom, I was
mistaken, a friend maybe , but not really a mom. She let me know that she only "loves and caress about her son ,my half brother. (added 5-14-2010)
I have ,since the posting of this in Oct.2008, been given a copy of "The letter" from my eldest sister, and I in turn made copies for all of my sibs......
I cried and got mad at her, but after a month or so, understand why she kept it hidden for all the years.... it was written by someone that was confused, and upset... and it really does not explain why she didn't stay a part of her childrens lives... I have always said,, "it's not the mistakes we make in our lives, It's what we do afterwards " , and she didn't do much to make a relationship with any of us.. the opposite was the real truth... sorry Mother. May 14,2010.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Oct 9,2008
Yes, a pond, a large pond of around 10 acres,maybe more ,dad made it in 1960 ,same as me. It was located right beside our new brick home that my dad had built in 1963-64 . When we moved into this nice large 4 bedroom ,2 bath and a basement home, it was around the first part of 1964 , by October of that same year my mother would leave us behind and start herself a new life.
The youngest I was, at almost 5 years old , and my oldest sibling , a sister , was 15 years.
So there we were, me at 4, my brother at 6, a 9 ,14 and 15 year old sister, left behind with my
dad. It was a good 2 years before we saw our mother, other than that wispy good by, but that's another day and another story.................
Oh, before I forget ,the train. It ran right along side our property between us and a highway.
When that train went by it would make the windows rattle, horns blowing ,and after a while
it was so normal, you didn't even hear it........................
The youngest I was, at almost 5 years old , and my oldest sibling , a sister , was 15 years.
So there we were, me at 4, my brother at 6, a 9 ,14 and 15 year old sister, left behind with my
dad. It was a good 2 years before we saw our mother, other than that wispy good by, but that's another day and another story.................
Oh, before I forget ,the train. It ran right along side our property between us and a highway.
When that train went by it would make the windows rattle, horns blowing ,and after a while
it was so normal, you didn't even hear it........................
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Oct.8,2008
Where do you start to tell your lifes story? Well, here goes......
I was born in January of 1960, I have been told there was a snow storm here that week, which
is funny because I was born in Augusta,Ga. ,not known for snow down here.
I am the 5 th child born to this family, and the last to be born before the big DIVORCE.
So much to tell , so many thoughts. I have 4 whole sisters and 1 whole brother. Only children of
divorce understand what that means? I have 1 half sister and 2 half brothers, and they are
actually whole people, well for the most part.
Back in the old 1960's Divorce usually meant that mom got the house and kids and dad left.....
Well not here..My dad got the house and all 5 kids............ I am quite sure it was a scary situation
for him to start with, but he grew to cope , in some ways, it only took him a few years to get
a gripe on the situation..........................a housekeeper/live-in nanny.
She was German and hard to understand in the beginning, in time , like years later, we
understood how hard it was for her. She , woops that word wasn't aloud , Elizabeth , cooked
new foods , and kept a CLEAN HOUSE. and it was clean. Elizabeth stayed with us for some
4 or 5 years off and on.
Tomorrow I'll tell you about our pond and 50 acres yard..................................Complete with a real train....
Where do you start to tell your lifes story? Well, here goes......
I was born in January of 1960, I have been told there was a snow storm here that week, which
is funny because I was born in Augusta,Ga. ,not known for snow down here.
I am the 5 th child born to this family, and the last to be born before the big DIVORCE.
So much to tell , so many thoughts. I have 4 whole sisters and 1 whole brother. Only children of
divorce understand what that means? I have 1 half sister and 2 half brothers, and they are
actually whole people, well for the most part.
Back in the old 1960's Divorce usually meant that mom got the house and kids and dad left.....
Well not here..My dad got the house and all 5 kids............ I am quite sure it was a scary situation
for him to start with, but he grew to cope , in some ways, it only took him a few years to get
a gripe on the situation..........................a housekeeper/live-in nanny.
She was German and hard to understand in the beginning, in time , like years later, we
understood how hard it was for her. She , woops that word wasn't aloud , Elizabeth , cooked
new foods , and kept a CLEAN HOUSE. and it was clean. Elizabeth stayed with us for some
4 or 5 years off and on.
Tomorrow I'll tell you about our pond and 50 acres yard..................................Complete with a real train....
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