Turning point? was it Enough?

My mother passed away March 31 2011, and I am not feeling what people think I should. Sorry. I just don't know how to make this right ,either. My mother was born October 18,1929 ,so she was 81 years old and was ill. I think she was suffering and her death put an end to that, for that I am grateful. My sister that she had after abandoning us 5 in Ga. , was with her ,which is only right ,since she had her all to herself ... she should have been there for her, my mother put everything into her and her children and just didn't have enough for her other children i guess. I am not bitter , just stating fact. My contact with her was limited , by her, and my step father... the time i spent with her could be measured simply by saying... if it were measured by grains of sand ,and each grain was a day, it would not even be enough to fill an eighth of a teaspoon. In some kind of a way I do think that I loved her, or at least the thought of what I wished she was. as they say, life goes on , and it does. <3